what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
