so that wasnt chicken after all
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
