We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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