Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
