I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
