Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
