I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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