Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
