Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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