you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
