His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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