we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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