thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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