I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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