apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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