girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
