there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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