he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
