: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You took a bar mat shot.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
