You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
