just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
