dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
