I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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