I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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