it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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