He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
