Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
