I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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