The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
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Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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