I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
