Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
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