I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you traded sex for a burrito?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
