Just mADE A PArabola og urine
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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