Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
