we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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