I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
