i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
