a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize
