Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
