Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
