at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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