6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
