How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
