Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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