garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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