Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
