I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
