Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
