no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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