my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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