I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
