Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
