Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
