Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
