God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
