i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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