It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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