nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
