I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
