Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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