Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Randomize
