i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
