Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I think a kid would responsible me up
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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