We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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