god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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