My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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