Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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