Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
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You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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